Congratulations Lemons Family!

Welcome to the world Jamie!! I can't believe I don't get to hold you for FOUR months!! :(

XOXOXO

CAUTION: venting, ranting, pity party ahead

Oh where to begin...please bear with me...I just needed to "talk". There are days when I wonder....and yesterday was FULL of it. I wonder why in the hell did I marry a sailor? Why in the hell did I choose this life? Then I remember that it was chosen for me, and I try and have faith in the good ol' "if He brings you to it, He will bring you thru it." But He's really trying me right now. (more on that later).

I sit in my bed and listen to my children playing and just CRY b/c I have to do that all alone. I miss my "Navy family", and my husband. When the men are gone, the women stick together, and right now, I don't have that, and it's SO hard!! Don't get me wrong, I really love my family, I really do! I have a FANTASTIC mother-in-law who helps me out WAY more than she should, an equally AWESOME step-mom who is there for me in spirit even as busy as she is with her babies, Oma & Opa...well, they are just angels on earth....but they will always be "home". They are always there to go home to, but the bonds you form in the military are strong ones b/c of what you're put thru as the spouses. I had a great one once. If I had to pick a defining factor in my life when I feel like it all changed, it would be 2004...yes, that far back. That's when one of the most important friendships in my life changed forever. We all have that one person aside from our spouse, that no matter what, is there, becomes more than a friend, but part of you and your family...that is always the person you go to in good & bad, happy & sad. That you can sit alone in a room and not speak, but know exactly what the other is thinking. I had that person once, who I met in the very beginning of my Navy journey and sadly, I am somehow no longer that person for her. I became the "after-the-fact" friend, or the secondary. Despite all the times I was told that wasn't the case, actions speak louder than words right? When you see it in front of your face that you were the "last to know", it VERY heartbreaking and God-awful painful. I think back to that time, and wonder what did *I* do wrong? How did *I* contribute to what it has become today? We all do that don't we? I'm good at it. I tend to take the blame for a lot of things, and even when the blame shouldn't be mine. It's so hard knowing that I have never and would never do that to her. So, in the midst of my depression and a really DOWN day yesterday, I pondered this friendship, and the hurt that I feel now. I feel like I tried (and still do) so hard, only to be pushed to the side, and that everything we'd ever been thru was obsolete. That's HARD. Now, when I am at my darkest and lowest, I no longer have my "one person" to turn to. Do you have any idea how lonely that is? Most of you know that I have been on anti-depressants for about 8 months now. I think I need a new one...b/c yesterday it took everything in me to even get out of bed. But I did, and Falyn and Faith did their school work, and I got some work done, but not without a bunch of crying sessions throughout the day. Losing your best friend is probably at the top of one of the hardest things you ever have to go thru in life. I've never had to deal with something like this before and it SUX!!

Which brings me back to "why did I choose this life?" and why my day yesterday was so hard without having that person. The good news is, Justin will be home closer to the end of January, rather than the middle of February....the bad news....they changed his ship right out from under us. Even after we had hard copies, even after he'd already put in his transfer package, EVEN after I had already contacted the Family Support Group. So, rather than going to a boat that wasn't going to deploy until the end of 2009, he's leaving again in May 2008....yes, you read that right. After 14.5 months away from us, he will come home in January and then get on a boat that leaves in May for 6 months. "yay" Anyone care to try and explain THAT to my girls?? I swear, Angie and Ryan had the right idea (ok Ryan). Getting out sounds better and better on days like yesterday. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoooo...told ya it was a pity party rant!! My dear friend Jebbye had her baby girl yesterday, and it just breaks my heart that I can't be there for her!! Luckily enough Jason came home from deployment last month, so he got to be there for his baby girls' birth. She's a BIG baby girl too! 8.3 21.5" and just adorable!! ALMOST makes me want another one!!

Anyway, if you got thru this, God Bless You. Say a little prayer that God grants me some much needed strength to get thru these last 100 days until Justin gets home. As short as that trip "home" is. It will be MUCH needed.

G

Me!!!

You never see much of me on here! Here's an awesome pic taken by a fabulous photographer friend of mine, Taz while I was in Boston!!

Boston Fun!

Headed to Boston for the weekend!! I CAN'T WAIT!! My first kid-free weekend in about 10 months!! I'm sure I'll miss them, but they are going to be in good hands, and I will enjoy getting to sleep in!!

Post pics when I get back!!

XOXOX

A FULL week!!

Soccer started Thursday and Falyn is a NATURAL!! You would think that she has been playing forever the way she got out there and kicked that ball. She listened very intently to the coach and was doing just awesome on the drills he had them doing for practice!! My little soccer star! Opening day was Saturday and she was picked to be team captain, and her team won 8-2!! YAY!! GO ROCKETS!! She was a little disappointed b/c she didn't score a goal, but she hasn't learned to be aggressive yet (ok, well on the soccer field anyway!), so the bigger kids (which would be all of them) would push her aside and snag the ball before she could kick for the goal. But she did awesome!! After that we headed over to Wendy's for Cole's b-day party! Oh MY, did the kids LOVE that! They would move in with Wendy if I let them! They had a blast and were pooped out before we even hit the highway to head back home!! Sunday we were still recovering from our fun filled weekend!! LOL

Here's the pics!!

Practice!





First Game!




Lost the coin in the coin toss!! LOL




Cole's Party

The Pinning...

...and his new uniform. REALLY weird to see him in khaki and not blue or white. REALLY weird!! The hat...WEIRD!!!! LOL He's so cute with that big ol' proud smile!! :)




Chief Geigley ladies and gents!




His Chief sponsor:

Justin's Initiation

Some photos of Justin going thru his Chief Initiation. Unfortunately, the person who had his camera did not get photos of him in his new uniform, so you'll have to wait with me to see those pics. Here are these....can you say....ewwwww?

Don't Blink - Kenny Chesney

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ySSg4QG8g

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you're taking naps and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv and it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you're taking naps and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I've been tryin to slow it down
I've been tryin to take it in
In this here today gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you're taking naps and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your better half
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster you think
Don't blink

Naw, don't blink

Well....it's almost official...

It's really hard to believe that after this year apart that Justin will have to head straight to a ship. I pretty much feel it's unfair....I'm upset, sick, mad, it's HARD, I miss my "side kick" and my best friend....you name it, I'm feeling it...but who am I to argue with the Navy? They don't care what I have to say. They don't care about how hard it is for me to watch the girls cry daily for their daddy. They only care about the needs of the Navy...and what needs to be filled. Blah.

Ok, that's the selfish side of me. The realistic side is saying, yea, I knew this was coming, but I still don't have to like it. I don't have to agree with it. BUT I also see how it works out for us in the long run. I see how it puts Justin's very last tour before retirement on shore, and he is there for the kids in (gulp) High School. Blah, blah, blah....I still don't have to like it. Last orders cycle there was nothing but Iraq and Afghanistan available....YEA RIGHT!! Justin said that if that came up this cycle (it's monthly) that he was NOT going to reenlist. Scary thought either way. We were watching for orders to either Jacksonville, FL or San Diego. Thankfully, a few other options came available....and we are lucky enough to get to return to San Diego. We "officially" have verbal orders back to San Diego. Justin will serve on the USS Germantown. We are very excited, as we loved being there before! It will really be different this go-round without Ryan, Angie, Jeremy and Venus...but we have Jason and Jebbye & kids, so that will be GREAT! We are looking at base housing this time, as they have a really nice new neighborhood in Pacific Beach.

So, anyway....that's my little update for the time being. Nothing TOO exciting going on these days yet. We signed Falyn up for Girl Scouts and that should start in a few weeks (be prepared to buy cookies!!!) and then soccer starts soon too. Faith is going to start gymnastics soon too....so....busy me!! Hopefully that makes these last months of the year go by fast.

Here's the boat!



XOXOXO

Freedom is not Free

First and foremost. Happy Birthday Niki! I love you and I hope you have a wonderful day!! XOXOX

A tribute to those that lost their lives on that horrible day and give their lives daily for our freedom (to those personally close to me...my husband and love of my life, Justin serving "over there" I miss you and I love you, to Jeremy, Jason and Rob, currently deployed on "the boats", to Jebbye serving and missing Jason.) To all of you, I thank you. God Bless America.

"TO MY DAUGHTER"

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry,
and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone
and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the
backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once,
not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the
ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are
going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision
I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies,
and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy
us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you
a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit
on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours,
and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair
as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the
greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers And fathers who are searching
for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are
visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and
mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching
their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that
they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter,
a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and
ask Him for nothing, except one more day..............

Why Did I Marry A Sailor?

When the last line has been cast
and you're left all alone..
You wonder..
Why did I marry a sailor?

When it's the 27th of the month
and you've only 84 cents..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

When the car won't start
and the nice man says "only $65"..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

When the washer won't wash,
the dryer won't dry
and the vacuum won't vac
all in one day..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

You stop and count and find
in 8 years you've spent
half the time alone..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

It's Christmas morning
with all the shining faces
and you're hoping
the bikes hold together..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

For days on end you wait
and all the mailman brings is "occupant"..
You wonder...
Why did I marry a sailor?

The one morning you find
all the lines are crossed out..
it's time...
for your Sailor to come home.

While you watch them pull in,
the lump in your throat grows..
You know why...
you married a sailor.

You remember all the other homecomings,
the look in his eyes when he sees you,
the gentleness as he hugs each child....
You know why you married a sailor.

The feel of his hand on your arm
and the way he says..
"Hi Hon, you look great."
You know why you married a sailor.

You wake up in the night
to a strange sound,
it's him breathing...
You know why you married a sailor.

You snuggle down,
his arms hold you close...
And you know why
you married your Sailor.

Tell me what you see.

What do you see when you look at this photo? Well, you see Faith right? Duh Gina.

It's so funny, to me this photo sums her up for me. If someone was to tell me to take a photo of Faith as *I* see her....well, here it is. I get this look from her quite often. It's her, "what?" right after I call her name. Look at the crown...she is my princess. Look at the bruises and chewed up nails....she is my tom boy. Look at her stunning blue eyes....she is going to have to be locked away when she's older! LOL I see her bleach blonde hair fading away and the dirty blonde/brown taking it's place. I see her daddy when she looks at me like this, and yet, I see her spunk, spirit and intrigue in the world around her. As a mother, I am sure most of you can appreciate what I am trying to say....I'm not as good at the words.

She's my Faith monster, my "Faify", my punkin' head....my baby blue....my baby girl. I see her daddy, and I see me. I LOVE this photo.

I love my son. I love my son.

I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. YES, HE'S OK! I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. I love my son. AGAIN, YES HE'S OK!!

In case you're wondering...this WAS my breakfast table. :( I love my son.

He did it!!!

Justin made Chief!!! I am SO very proud of him! I know he was extremely nervous, and this morning was quite the nail biter, but all his hard work over the last 8 years paid off for him! I love you babe! We are all VERY proud of you!!

Guess it's time to pack up the dixie cup huh? LOL

XOXOX

First Day of School!!

And so it begins! Our first day of home school...and MAN...that was EASY!! LOL (remind me that later!) I treated it just as any other "school-day". Up at 730, breakfast, brush teeth/hair & dress. Then we started the day with the pledge of allegiance and a prayer. The girls really seemed to enjoy it, and the YMCA offers PE for home schooled children, so they are looking forward to that later this month!

Justin left at 6am yesterday morning, and that SUCKED bad, but we are back into the swing already. I thought it would make it worse, but it turned out to be just what they needed. They aren't quite as "bad off" this time as they were last time. Faith still asks hourly when he's coming home, but at least now she understands that he DOES in fact come back, even after being gone that long. I miss him bad already, and I know he's probably not even "home" yet. I miss "sharing the load" and I don't think I realized how much I did until this time.

Anyway...here's the girls on their first day of school!!

My second grader!!!


Pre-K Begins!!

Birthday Girls!!

We had a luau party for the girls on the 21st! FUN, FUN time are the YMCA pool, that they LOOOVE!! Luckily they will still let me give them joint parties! Soon enough that isn't going to happen any longer! LOL Here's some pics of the day! In all the chaos...I rarely remember to take pics, so Justin was in charge of the camera! LOL





Present Madness!!


Cake boy! LOL

Jebbye and Jeb Michael

It was SOOOOOO awesome to get to see and hang out with Jebbye and Jeb (and Jamie-to-be!!) We've missed them so much and hate being apart from our "Navy family". We spent the evening at "ITZ"...I call it Chuck E Cheese on steroids!! LOL