Ok, so....having a moment

Yes, a cry baby moment. I just finished reading a post on Angie's mom's blog, and how sad she was, and how sucky it is that something she said is true about me (not giving out details sorry!)...... and it just got all my emotions up and.....dangit! I HATE THIS! I hate this total feeling of emptiness. A year? Really? How do I do this? You know all those thoughts you think when you get one of those "life changing" curve balls thrown at you? Well, batter up.....I'm thinking them all! But the hardest part is sitting here not knowing when I will get to even hold Justin's hand again, or look into his eyes and see his heart. There are about 3 people in this world (aside from my children) that give me comfort and make me feel "safe & warm"....and while two of them are in the same city as me right now....I just want my Justin. Everyone of you that's married knows what I am talking about. No matter where you go, what you do, what you say, how you act....he loves you. You are free to be completely you, and know that no matter what he still loves you. That's my Justin. I feel like I am holding my breath, and I'm not sure when I can breathe again.

Woooo....cry baby rant huh? LOL I guess it's just hitting me, that I DON'T know when I am going to see him again. At least before he left I had a "date" in mind. My brother is getting married August 18th....he was going to be here for it. :( Not that I don't want him to make Chief, but dangit! Do you know how much a plane ticket is for him to come home?? $1300!!! Yea....pick your chin up off the floor....I KNOW!! So, the choice between after initiation (6 months) or Christmas (9 months) comes into play.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so over this!!!!!!!!

I love you babe! Miss you!
xoxox